Are You Ready To Have A Baby?
Having your own child or entering into parenthood is a big decision in one’s life. Before taking this huge step, a couple had to consider so many things like family, freedom and finances.
For some it may not be a big question as they always dreamt of being parents and having a child. However, some couple does serious wobbling before taking the plunge. Whatever is in your mind, make sure one thing that no one has to have children. The world is already very populated and therefore decision of being a parent is completely upon you. It all depends on what hopes you carry and what you aspire in your life.
In order to win over this inner turmoil, you should ask certain questions with yourself. The very questions which would help you are:
Why do you need a baby?
Some couples argue that they have been sexually satisfying each others for years and they do not feel like having any other member in their life. While in some others, there is an inner call or urge to create someone with the person you love so much. For them, it is the whole point of life and a strong bond to make their relationship strong.
As per my personal experience, I would say that I had this inner desire to have my own child. A time came when I used to see to my neighbors’ and relatives’ toddlers as my own. I developed that sense of motherhood within me. Whenever I used to visit any public place and watch couples playing around with their children, I always felt to have one. If you are also going through this phase, you are sort of ready to have a baby.
I have mentioned here half possibility because, parenting is fun and satisfying but it should include both of you. What I mean is that, your husband should be equally ready and desirous to raise the family. We all know that girls’ emotional quotient is quite high which prompt them to pressurize their husbands for this big decision.
There is one more aspect to this question. Generally in Indian families, even when the couples are not ready, they decide to have the baby just because their family is continuously pondering upon them. They had to take this huge step under pressure. However, you should know that one cannot imagine the complete responsibility of having a child until you have one. Therefore, do not consider any need under pressure.
When you are ready to have a baby?
The other big question is that how would you realize that you are ready to plunge into this responsibility? Here are some points which will help you to decide.
- The very first thing to consider is your emotional state. Getting into pregnancy and parenting after that, is quite emotionally and psychologically very challenging. If your emotional state is not very good, you may fail to go through the inevitable difficulties of this phase. If, struggling with depression, anxiety and complex relationships, then you should definitely first come over it or seek some professional advice.
- As the saying goes that giving birth is like a new life for mom, it is important that you remain in a physically fit and fine condition. Before you move ahead, you have to change your routine and lifestyle including few minutes to daily exercise and eating right and balanced diet. All you men need not be happy with the thought that you would not follow this suggestion as you are not the one to conceive. The male counterparts should also look into their lifestyle to ensure a good quality sperm.
- Having and raising kids demand some level of financial security for sure. Though, you can certainly handle conditions on a shoestring but it will only add more stress to your financial worries. We are not saying you to be a Trump but falling in a condition when you have to think a lot to make ends meet is not at all favorable.
- During initial years of parenthood, your time may be all-consuming. You can definitely move out of town but occasionally. If thinking of night outs, you would have to compromise as they would never be like your pre-parent night outs. However, if you want to have fun night with your hubby watching movie and having popcorns at home, then you can think about it.
- If you are a working woman you definitely have to rethink this question. Handling childcare responsibilities, work and family can be a daunting task. Make sure that you are ready for that as the innocent life would surely demand your time and attention.
- Last but not the least, enthusiasm does wonder to let you through the tough times. If you are excited and anxious to have your own child, you will automatically get the energy and the confidence to move ahead.
If after going through all these points, your answer is on positive side, you are surely ready to take a leap ahead.
Are you ready for life after baby?
Parenting can be overwhelming. Along with excitement, fun, satisfaction and happiness, a child brings lot of responsibilities and duties with him. You will have to devote sheer amount of time and energy to your child with only few breaks to recharge and refresh.
What are the major problems you will face after a baby?
- At times, having a child takes a toll on you. He/she demands much of your time so that you always miss that “ME” time for yourself. As a mother you never get enough time, help, training and emotional support. As a result, you feel irritated, angry, depressed, and resentful, bored and at times feel as being trapped.
- Your child needs the most of you. He/she will keep you on your toes. Running all day after them for feeding or for playing needs you to be physically stronger otherwise, your irritation and tiredness may affect him emotionally. Your well-being is not important for your day-to-day work but for child’s future also.
- A woman faces major change in her body after a baby. She puts on weight which might or might not shed with time. Incontinence, bleeding, hair loss, belly paunch, back and hip pain, hemorrhoids, swollen feet are some of the post baby body changes. However, not necessarily every woman faces it.
- Your new born can be hard on your relationship. Even the strongest relationships are being tested. Your child, which is said to be a channel of your unconditional love, does not give you time to go around for love. At times, it may create tensions in the relationships leading to emotional isolation for both parents.
- Financial issues can also be a problem as most of the time women had to leave their jobs. Apart from this, there are additional expenses of your baby. So you have to keep a check on your pockets after a baby.
- Generally parents do not have time to undergo emotional support training and preparation to get the job done. This makes them to commit mistakes which affect most to your most loved child. Those you love i.e. your children.
- Getting into parenthood is life’s major challenge and change and it is the woman, who bears the major responsibility of raising children. Though, with the rising percentage of women into job, the scenario has been changed a lot. However, still, the day-to-day household work, meal making childcare, purchasing, emotional counseling and other household responsibilities fall upon women and that too unpaid. Though, with this, one cannot say that this is easy for men as in our society it is obvious for men to choose work over parenting while women have to pick parenting to the detriment of work.
These are the ground realities which cannot be changed in a moment. However, it is your mutual understanding and compromises which can help to have a balanced and happy life after parenting.